5 Days
by Radio.Gaga.96
Summary: Brendan tells Ste that he's going to die. There seems to be no way to stop it, no way to save him. For 5 days, Ste is left in the dark as to what may of happened to the man he loves. Then there's a knock on his door.


**First time I've wrote in a while. This fic is a tad OC but it's the best I could do.**

**I hope you all enjoy.**

**Thank you to my lovely beta: LoveOutOfLust**

**Steven Hay POV**

**September 22nd 2012**

It had been 5 days since I had seen him. Since he told me that he, Cheryl, Joel and Theresa had to leave because they weren't safe. 6 days ago I thought that I was over him, in that way. I knew that I had began to care for him again, after everything.

When Lynsey was murdered, back in late June, I began to see that side of him that I fell in love with all that time ago. That vulnerable side that showed he cared. Showed that he truly did love.

Before that, I thought I truly hated him and those feeling were gone. Turned out that they were just buried deep down in my subconscious.

But when I saw how much everything was effecting him, I felt like I needed to help. I was worried about him. I told him I was worried about him and I think he looked shocked by my admission, confused by why I felt anything for him after the way he had been.

I told myself I didn't feel that way about him anymore though. Not anymore. Not now.

About a month ago, I had tried to kiss him. Despite being in a relationship with Doug, I tried to kiss him.

Me and Doug had been together for a few months before that happened. I hadn't ever planned on cheating on him, or attempting to cheat on him I should say. But this incident happened when Doug's parents had come to Chester, not long after my children had moved away to Manchester with their mother and it just happened. He rejected me though. He stopped me from kissing him, telling me that it wasn't what I wanted.

He was right, I didn't want to be a cheat. I didn't want to hurt Doug. I didn't want to lose Doug and end up alone. No Amy (the mother of my children), no son, no daughter, no Doug. I didn't want that.

It was the most selfless thing I had ever known him to do.

We went on like it never happened after a while. He attempted to leave the village with his son, I stopped him. I didn't know why I convinced him to stay in the village with his sister Cheryl at the time. Or maybe I did and I just convinced myself that I didn't.

I went on with my life. He came into the deli I owned with Doug every now and then. He got a coffee, or maybe a sandwich. Shockingly, he actually payed for some of the food I gave him. I had only seen him really pay for a handful of things in my life before that. I don't know how he always got away with not paying for things.

Me and Doug got...more committed, I could say.

Then 5 days ago as I was walking out of Price Slice around 7 o'clock that night, he called my name.

"Steven"

I turned to see him with a slight smile on my face. But it dropped the second I saw the expression on his as he stood at the entrance to his empty night club.

"Can you...can you come in here for a moment? I need to speak to you." He spoke much quieter this time. Almost as if he didn't want to be saying the words he was.

"Yeah, sure." I said with mild hesitance. I walked past him and I went inside his club. He shut the door behind us. "What do you need to talk to me about?"

"We have to go."

"We?" I was shocked. Why we?

He let out a short laugh. "Not as in you and me. As in me, Cheryl, Scottish Foxy and Theresa."

"What? Why?" I felt a pang in my chest, I didn't want him to leave. I really didn't want him to leave. To leave the village. To leave...me.

"I can't explain it all right now Steven-"

"Well try Brendan! You can't just leave and not tell me why!"

"No, Steven." He spoke firmly. "This isn't why I asked you in here."

"Yeah, well maybe I don't want to hear what you have to say then." I ranted, trying to get passed him in order to leave.

"Steven." His voice cracked as he said my name, making me stop in my tracks right in front of him.

I looked up at him, his eyes were pleading, vulnerable.

"Please. Please, just stay." He whispered.

"Ok, I'll stay." I nodded.

Brendan began pacing then. He started sentences, but they finished before they even started.

"Brendan please, you're really beginning to freak me out."

"I love you" He spoke those words so fast it's a surprise I even heard them. But I did and they knocked the wind right out of me.

"I...but...you-"

He cut me off. "Don't say anything. Please don't say anything or I won't be able to finish."

I nodded.

He continued. "I needed to say that. I needed you to know that before I left and I need you to know that I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for everything I've ever done to you. I've hurt you, manipulated you, tried to control you, I've embarrassed and humiliated you, knocked you down time and time again. I've done things...unforgivable things..."

"Brendan-"

"No! Please, please just let me finish." He practically spluttered. I had never seen him like this.

"I know that you should never forgive me. I know that I should never ask you to. But I am." He finally looked up at my shocked face, his eyes glistening with tears. "I'm asking you to forgive me Steven. Please forgive me, please."

I was speechless now, I had no idea what to say to all that.

"Jesus, you really can't, can you?" His chest was heaving. He was trying not to cry. He was trying not to cry because Brendan Brady doesn't cry.

"Why are you saying all this?" I screamed at him. I was crying now, I broke before he did. "Why are you asking me all of this now?"

"Because I know I may never be able to ask again! And I can't, I can't go to my grave without at least asking you to forgive me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I have to die Steven." Brendan told me. He spoke such words so calmly, like he had already accepted them long ago.

His words stunned me. He has to die? Why does he have to die?

"I don't understand." I stuttered. My body was vibrating.

He let out a long, calming breath. "If I die, then the people I love won't suffer."

"That doesn't even fucking make sense Brendan!"

"If I'm alive, he'll torture everyone I love."

"Who will?"

"Walker."

"Walker? That guy you met in prison?"

"Yes."

"But...but I though he was your friend. He's always at the club."

"He was playing me Steven." He shook his head, like he couldn't even believe what he was saying.

"Why don't you go to the police if he's threatening you?"

"It's not that simple."

"And do you have to take all of them with you? Can they not stay here, won't that be safer?"

"Yes and no."

"Why?"

"Because...look, Steven, I don't have time to explain all this right now. I have to go meet Cheryl and then I'm gone." He snapped. "I said what I had to say, I asked what I needed to and the fact that you haven't given me an answer tells me all I need to know, so maybe you should just go."

"No, please not yet" I pleaded. I could't go, this could be the last time I ever saw him. "I...I forgive you."

He had been looking down at the floor and my words made his head shoot right up in shock.

"I forgive you, Brendan. I forgive you for everything."

"You do?" He said those words as if he couldn't even fathom what I was saying, even what he was saying.

I moved closer to him and I lifted my hand in order to touch the smooth skin of his cheek. Tears were forming in both our eyes again. "I do."

"Thank you." He whispered. He closed his eyes and a single tear fell down his cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb.

Looking back, I think this was the single most intimate moment in all the time we have known each other. Sex with this man was intimate, but this was something else.

I don't know who moved first. It could of been him, it could of been me. Maybe it was both.

Either way, our lips ended up connected for our first real kiss for over a year. We both whimpered when our lips came in contact with the others. It just felt...so good to feel this again. The warm, almost softness of his lips. The bristles of his thick moustache against my top lip.

Our lips wrapped around one another's and our hands began pawing at each others necks, hair and hips. My lips moved against his, our tongues tangled in one another's mouths. We stood there, my hands on either side of his face, his resting on my neck and hip and we just kissed for what felt like hours. Neither of us tried to push it any further than that as we knew there was no time. The kiss was wet from spit and tears that came down both our faces.

This was the last time we would ever see each other.

Brendan broke away first, I moaned in protest and he smiled sadly.

"I have to go."

"No, no you can't" I grabbed onto his suit jacket and pulled him to me, resting my head on his shoulder. "You can't leave me, not now."

"Don't make this anymore difficult Steven, please" He muttered into my ear as he wrapped his arms around me. "Just know that I love you."

"I...I-"

"Don't say it."

"Why?" I cried.

"If you say it I don't think I'll be able to let you go."

"Good." We both laughed.

"Steven, I really have to go."

"Ok." I forced myself to move away from him. "Wait! Why aren't I at risk right now? How do you know he won't come after me? What if he hurts me Brendan?"

He turned and opened the door to the club and we both walked out. "I just know he won't ok?" I nodded in understanding. It's not lie we've spent much time around each other whilst this Walker's guys been around anyway.

As he locked the door I said, "Does Cheryl know, about what's going to happen to you?"

"No, no she doesn't."

"Shit."

"Yeah," He turned to me and put his hand on my face. He did this action with him as to tuck hair behind my ear but with my shaven sides it was impossible. "You have a good life Steven Hay." I nodded into his hand.

We just looked at each other for a few more painful moments. Nothing else was said after that, we just walked in opposite directions, both looking back until we were out of each others sight.

I ran home after that, I quickly unlocked and locked the door, stripped off, got into bed and cried for the rest of the night.

Through out the talking, the kissing, the touches that me and Brendan shared tonight, not once did I think about Doug. It hadn't even occurred to me that I had just cheated, again. I didn't even feel guilty, what does that say about me? Does that make me a bad person?

Did I care?

I mean, things between me and Doug...they haven't been great. I snap a lot, he whines, I get pissed off, he gets annoyed and we rarely stay happy for long. But the relationship, it was easy, if my past relationships were anything to go by. I never really thought we'd end.

I was wrong.

In was about 2 days after Brendan had gone and we were up in Doug's flat. I was still grieving for a death that I wasn't sure had even happened yet. I had been moody and I was snarky with everyone, even the customers in the deli. I was trying to hide it, but it was next to impossible.

So when we were sitting watching a film at Doug's that day, 2 days after I had said a final goodbye to Brendan and Doug made a move, I snapped.

"Doug just get the fuck off me." I all but growled, jumping up off the sofa and moving to the other side of the room.

Doug let out a sigh of annoyance. "So come on then, what have I done?"

"Nothing." I muttered. I began to feel bad for my outburst. It wasn't Doug's fault.

"No one gets a reaction like then when trying to kiss his boyfriend for 'nothing' Ste." He yelled as he quoted me. God, I hated it when he did that.

"It's not you-"

"It's me?" He said sarcastically.

"Jesus Christ I wasn't even going to say that!"

"Oh yeah?" He laughed with no humor attached. "Then what were you going to say?"

"You know what, sack this. I'm going."

I walked straight past him and as I was 3 foot away from the door he said. "I saw you."

"You saw me? What the hell does that mean Doug?" I asked, confused.

"I saw you the other day, with him. Brendan. I saw you walk into that empty club with him, you were in there for god knows how long and then you came out and...and he touched your face and the way, the way you two looked at each other..." He cut off as tears began to poor down his face.

"Doug, I-" I didn't know what to say. What could I possibly say to that? I guess anything would of been better than what I said. "I didn't mean for it to happen."

"So something did that happen then? Oh well isn't that just fucking great!"

"No, I mean yes, but not, not what your thinking." I protested.

"What am I thinking then Ste? Do I think that you slept with him? Do I think that you cheated on me and you had no intention of even telling me? Do I think that ever since Brendan left you've been sulking around, treating people like shit, closing off to me more and more each passing day and there is nothing I can do because you love him more than me and I've only just began to see it? Am I thinking about how I tried to act like all this wasn't bothering and I could just get on with life but I just can't? Is that what I'm thinking?!" By the end of his rant Doug he was practically screaming at me, his chest heaved with rage and tears spilled down his cheeks just like mine were.

"I didn't have sex with him." I argued weakly.

Doug scoffed. "Is that all you have to say for yourself, really?"

"What else am I meant to say Doug?" I bawled. "Do you want me to say I'm sorry? Will that even mean anything right now? Fine, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Does that change anything?"

"No, no it doesn't."

"Exactly."

"I want to know why."

"Why what?"

"Don't act dumb Ste. I want to know why you did it. Why you cheated on me, with him of all people!"

"Because he's everything!" I screamed at him. "He means everything to me! Before, back when he was controlling our business and trying to break us up, I thought I hated him, I truly thought I did. Then Lynsey got murdered and I began to see the real him starting to slip from behind that facade he's been putting up since prison and I tried to bury these feelings I really did. I really, really did."

"Then what happened?"

"I began to see that version of him that I fell in love with all that time ago coming out a bit more every single time I saw and spoke to him. The version of him I saw when we were alone together sometimes. I even saw that vulnerable side that I hadn't seen many times, if at all. Then about a month ago, after your parents had just showed up and I left, I went to Chez Chez and-"

"I don't think I want to hear this." Doug protested.

"No, please." I pleaded. "I need you to understand."

"What is there to understand Ste? You obviously went to Chez Chez and you started some kind of affair-"

"No!" I protested once again. "That's not what happened. Please, can you just let me say what I have to say? I need you to know what happened and that I never, ever wanted to hurt you Doug."

So I told him everything. I told him about the almost kiss, Brendan knocking me back, which I must say Doug was shocked by. I told him about how Brendan wanted to leave and I convinced him to stay, in a way. Then I went on and told him about a lot more stuff, from my past. With Amy, the joy riding, prison, the abuse, what really happened with Brendan and so on. He actually listened. He was distraught. In all honesty, I have no idea why he stayed and listened to me waffle on about my entire past, but he did. He cringed at parts and looked like he was going to cry at others, but he got through. Somehow.

"Then the other day, Brendan told me he was leaving, with Cheryl and Joel and Theresa. He told me he was never coming back. He told me...he told me he was going to die." I tried to hold in the tears as I said it. I couldn't cry about him in front of Doug, not now.

When I looked up at Doug's face, he eyes were popping out of his head almost comically. "He...he's going to die?"

"Yes." I whispered. "And before he died, he asked me to forgive him."

"So what, does he have cancer or something?"

"No." I laughed darkly. "It's something to do with that Walker guy who's been around here for a few months."

"Well jeez, why doesn't he just go to the police?"

"Apparently it's not that easy."

"It never is with that man."

We stayed silent for a while.

"I'm am sorry." I said.

"You should be."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"But you did."

"I know."

"So...what now?"

I left out an exhale of breathe. "Now, I go home and tomorrow we go to work in our deli that we own together."

"Can it really be that easy?" Doug argued.

"If we want it to be. You can, take some time off if you feel like you need it. Anything you want."

"No point hiding away is there. If it's over, it's over."

So that's what we did. For the next few days we attempted to carry on like normal. I'm not saying it wasn't awkward, but it was better than nothing. At least he was still here. Leanne and Texas, Doug's best friends, gave me the occasional glare or sour look when they came in to the deli, but I could deal with that. As long as me and Doug could possibly, hopefully get over this and we could one day be friends again, I didn't care.

I checked the paper everyday, waiting, hoping I wouldn't come across a story about a man in his early thirties being found dead somewhere. I also watched all the local news channels, I listened to passing gossip. Nothing. I kept thinking when I was working in the deli that I would see Cheryl come past, crying, maybe worse and then I'd know. But she never did. I dreamed he would come walking through the village and he'd be fine. Not even a scratch on him.

That never happened either.

It felt as if I was never going to find out what happened to him.

I had never had a worst 5 days in my life.

It's the fifth night now, I had being lying in bed for 3 hours, it's gone midnight. I think. I hadn't been able to sleep properly. I wouldn't be surprised if the bags under by eyes had bags I was so tired. Doug told me to go home early today, but I refused. I needed to be distracted as long as I possibly could. Not that it worked. It was all I could think about. Every minute of the day was taken up of thoughts of him. Cheryl too, of course. But mainly him.

_Knock, knock, knock._

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Who could possibly be knocking at me door at such a time?

Was it Cheryl? Was she coming to tell me he was dead?

Was it Walker, coming for me too since he was after everyone Brendan loved?

I slowly crawled out of my bed and tip toed through the house towards the door. It's times like this I should be thankful for Amy and the kids moving to Manchester. At least nothing will happen to them. They're safe.

"Hello?" I call, my voice shaking with fear.

"Steven." The broken voice calls back.

"Oh God, Brendan!" I unlock the door as quick as a possibly can and as I fling the door open I'm horrified by what I see. "Oh no, oh no."

He's face is smothered in blood and gashes, along with his body that's covered in ripped clothing. He looks almost defeated and oh so fragile standing in front of my flat right now. I stare at him in shock for God knows how long, tears forming in my eyes for what feels like the hundredth time in the past 5 days, until I finally snap back into reality.

"You need to get inside Brendan, I'll phone an ambulance."

"No." He protests in this small voice. "No ambulances, no hospitals. Please Steven."

"Brendan, look at you!"

"Can I use your shower? I'm sure if I clean myself up I'll look a little better." He tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace.

I nodded and he walked past me towards the bathroom. He knew where it was, obviously.

The second I heard the shower turn on, I crumpled onto the sofa and let out this reliving breath. A breath I felt like I had been holding for minutes, hours, maybe even days.

He was alive.

Brendan.

Brendan was alive.

He didn't die.

He's alive.

Oh God, he's alive.

I sat there, shaking, shocked and totally exhausted as a listened to the shower run. I have so many questions running through my mind right now.

_Is Walker still after him? Is Walker dead? Did Brendan kill him? Is Cheryl alive, or Joel, or Theresa? Will Walker be on his way here, on his way to kill me and Brendan?_

Then the shower turned off and Brendan walks out of my bathroom wearing nothing but his boxers, weakly brushing a towel over his head, none of them questions matter anymore. I practically fly and him and begin sobbing against him as I kiss his shoulders, his neck, his cheeks and whispering 'You're alive', 'You're ok' into his skin.

"Ow." He mutters, wincing.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" I say in horror. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, just some aches and pains. I'll be good as new in no time."

"I have to say you do look a lot better now you've washed away some of that blood." I laughed, practically beaming at his cut face.

He's alive.

"I'll say. Red isn't really my colour."

"But how...I mean Walker-"

"Shhhh..." He pulled me into his chest. "I'll answer all your questions in the morning Steven, I promise. Right now, I just need you."

"I need you too." I lean up and kiss his mouth. I felt the need to devour him. It felt like years since I last kissed him, not just a matter of days.

He pushes me back. "What about Douglas? I can't do this if your just going to go back to him tomorrow. I can't be your second choice."

"It's over." I say simply.

His eyes widen. "It's over?"

"Yes. I told him about what happened between us. I told him everything. It's over."

Brendan smiles the biggest smile you could possibly imagine (before it began to hurt because of the cuts and bruises on his face) "So this is it, you and me?"

"Yes...as long as there is no risk of you telling me you're going to die again?"

"Not any time soon, I promise." He laughs. "Just wait until I make a new enemy."

I begin pushing him back towards my bedroom. "Well, you're never leaving this flat again, so how will you have the chance?"

"I like the sound of that."

Then we were kissing again. Lips and tongues and teeth. The clothes, well my clothes, went flying around the room. He winces in pain with almost every movement of his body, I try to stop, but he won't let me. He says he needs me too much and he'd take any pain as long as it meant he could just be with me. I have never really known him to say such things to me. It was cringey but kind of sweet at the same time.

I have to be on top. Not top top, no matter how injured he was, he'd never allow such activities. But after being prepared, I lower myself down on top of him me and for the first time in over a year, I felt completely whole again. We begin to rock together. The pleasure I was feeling on being with him again was indescribable.

When I begin to feel close Brendan moans, 'Tell me."

"What?" I breathe.

"What I wouldn't let you tell me the other day, tell me now."

Then I understand and I smile, "I love you. I love you Brendan Brady, I fucking love you." My orgasm was edging closer and closer with each word.

And as we climax at the same time he calls out, "I love you too."

Then we lay next to one another, out of breath, heavy breathing.

"We need to sort out all those cuts tomorrow Brendan. I won't take no for an answer."

"Yes dear." He laughs.

"Oh fuck you." I sigh. "You have no idea how happy I am that your ok though."

"Me too. You kept me going you know. You're the reason I survived." He murmurs as he plays with the hair on the top of my head.

"Don't talk wet."

"Ok, you and Cheryl and Declan and Padraig and-"

I slap his bicep.

"Ow, Steven!"

"Don't be a smart arse then...wait, where is Cheryl? Is she ok? She's not hurt is she?"

"No, she's fine. She's back at the flat with Joel and Theresa I presume."

"Did she not want you to go to the hospital, or at least clean your self up abit?"

"She did, but I had to come here first."

"What and give me a heart attack?" I snark.

"Well I thought I'd want you to see me right away."

"I could hardly see you under all that blood though, could I?"

"Point."

I turn and rest my head on my hand, elbow up. I look at him, tears forming in my eyes once again. "I checked the papers everyday you know and the news channels, everything. I dreaded opening the papers, thinking I was going to see something about you, being dead and-"

"Shhh, Steven, shhh." He wiped the tears from under my eyes. "You'll never have to think like that again ok?"

"You promise?"

"I promise."

**Thank you for reading!**

**Review? Please?**


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